Weakness

“You are not only responsible for what you say, but also for what you do not say.” – Martin Luther



Often I think of judgment day, when I shall stand before His throne and watch as things which I spent on myself burn away, and things which I spent on His kingdom go into all of eternity. Not often, though, do I think of the things I will leave hollow. Some purpose He created me for, to have me speak or do, left undone.



My insecurities get the best of my mouth on a regular basis, giving satan all kinds of footholds to creep up in my heart. He surely is the father of lies, is he not? Jesus gives me authority and clarity to speak His heart to someone, to tell them the flipside of the lie they’re hearing (and believing), to penetrate darkness with the light of His truth- but in the midst of receiving this blessed word of the Lord, Satan hates it and decides to work overtime.

“Who do you think you are? They don’t even like you. You must be respected first, before words can be properly received. You wouldn’t be able to say it right anyway.”

Like a child, I wholeheartedly believe, and join with the world in eating from the tree of knowledge of good and evil. And the situation drowns in a pool of lies.

I pray and hope, that with age does come wisdome, more of a knowledge of who Jesus is and also whi the evil one is. That I may turn my face against ever-tempting darkness, and look into light. In this I am weak, sometimes too weak to speak. But this truth I do know: His grace is sufficient for me, His power is perfected in my weakest parts. (2 Cor. 12:10.)

The Father's Heart

I've been reading in Hosea. And it's a lot about the wrath of God for the iniquity of Israel and his son, Ephraim: all of their mistakes and the punishment that will come. I have enjoyed it because it has a lot to do with justice, which I desire a lot. But it hasn't been one of the more encouraging books of the Bible I've read. And then yesterday I got to chapter 11. In this chapter you see God's heart for Israel and Ephraim. He says how He loved him when he was a child, how He called him out of Egypt. He says how he taught Ephraim how to walk. .. "I led them with cords of kindness, with bands of love." But they turned away and would not return to their God. "My people are bent on turning away from me.." And though He desired for them to return so much, they had chosen other things and so the Lord had to give them up to those things, but His heart for them was strong.

"How can I give you up, O Ephraim?
How can I hand you over, O Israel?
How can I make you like Admah?
How can I treat you like Zeboiim?
My heart recoils within Me.
My compassion grows warm and tender.
I will not execute my burning anger;
I will not again destroy Ephraim;
for I am God and not man..."

Once again I am astonished at the Father’s heart for His children.

Admah and Zeboiim were two cities that were destroyed in Sodom and Gomorrah.

And even though Ephraim and Israel deserved the same destiny, God could not bear it. He loved them so much, that He chose to forgive the unforgivable.
I can’t get over that line “..My heart recoils within me..” another version says “My heart churns within me..”

Our Father longs to be with His children.

So for the prodigals:

...He waits.

Walking my sister to the Lord

Tonight I wanted to go to hang out with my friends. I was fine with staying home but it wasn't what i desired. Mom and Dad had home group so I, being the youngest of the top four, inevitably stayed home. I was kind of in a funk and didn't know why. Now I know it was an attempt of Satan, trying to get me away and not to be with my sister so that the Kingdom of God would advance Good for me and Glory Belle, Jesus has so much more power than the devil!

I laid on the ground, worn out and tired not wanting to move. With the TV on I didn't think anything else needed to happen since my sisters seemed satisfied as their brains continued to melt away. Then the show ended, for a split second a thought entered into my head of me and my sisters having a Bible study and doing something proactive. Then quickly, the thought fled. Then Grace (who isn't afraid of speaking up unlike her big sis) said we should have a prayer meeting. I politely agreed and asked Mercy what she thought. Her response was, "That would be my 2nd prayer meeting today.. No wait, 3rd..."

Anyways eventually we got on subject and Grace asked us what she could pray for us for. Youngest to oldest. Glory Belle seemed a bit unsure. I tried to help her and talked about being saved which led to about a half an hour discussion/questions about Christianity and Jesus. I felt annointed and graced with the words to speak.
We had her get in the middle and prayed for her and then the meeting kind of broke up. I prayed again for her shoulder, then we came back in the room and talked some more then she decided she wanted to get saved. I was thrilled and yet somehow a little bit nervous. I had Grace and Mercy leave and I had her repeat after me and ask the Lord Jesus to come into her heart. Then she asked how she knew she was now saved, I quickly texted Dad and asked where a verse was and eventually looked up Romans 10:9,10. "Whoever confesses with their mouth that Jesus is Lord and believes in their heart that God raised Him from the dead will be saved." She had me read it about ten times. She told me later that when we were praying she felt something come into her heart and she could still feel it. I asked her if she knew what that was and she said, "Yeah, Jesus came into my heart."
Praise God!

Season

Spring, finally is here. What a beautiful season, by far my favorite and always has been. When winter is over and gone. It makes me think of the verse in Song of Solomon 2 where the King is speaking to His beloved, and He tells her to arise and come away with Him for the winter is over and gone and the lilies appear on the earth. Just like we are coming into a new season of weather and beauty, i can feel the Lord bringing me into a new season with Him. He is asking much of me. He wants me to go away with Him. to fall in love with Him, to be completely surrendered to HIM. I can feel Him stripping away things that would distract me from Him and what He has to give me or will give me in the future and i don't need now. and with every strip, there is a sting. But, there is nothing i would rather happen. He's making me satisfied with Him. How beautiful that is! i don't want it to be spring before it's winter, the winter makes spring so much more beautiful. The stuff He has promised to me for the future, i don't want right now. Though my flesh and Satan tell me i do, I really don't. This is the best place for me now. Just me and the Lord. He's bringing me into the desert and speaking sweetly to me with His still soft voice.
Thank you Lord for this season. I am delighted to be in hiding with You! Help me to remain with You and be content with that, Father.
Amen.
Written By Faith*